Рецензия на «Let your love fly!» (Desperada)
Not bad at all! It’s full of spunk and spirit! However, you do miss an article or two (as any non-native speaker does), eg. «the red sun» (line 2); «the heart» (line 4); «the birds» (line 6). I do understand that these changes will upset the flow of the poem, but without them is worse than with them. And one final suggestion: «When the heart is banging rythm that you need» (line 4) would be an improvement. [Sorry for somewhat harsh approach in my critique.]
С хр.л.и.ув.,
thebogdan